A fun weekend and a bunch of thoughts.

This weekend Dustin's younger brother Josh and his wife Appolonia stayed with us.  It was really fun to have them up.  Josh is Dustin's only brother and they are only 16 months apart.  I love it when they get together because they are hilarious!  Dustin  makes me laugh all the time, but get him and Josh together and the hilarity never ends.  Its fun that Dustin and Josh are both married.  It's especially nice for me because Appols and I spend a lot of time looking at each other like, "Oh those Penman boys!"  They got to experience an Aggie basketball game while they were here, which was fun but a little disappointing because the place was so packed that we didn't get seats together, and Josh and Appols ended up sitting by punks who smuggled alcohol into the game in Rockstar cans (seriously?  Grow up!).  It was a fun weekend though.

I am learning, however, that it is sort of stressful to have guests.  Growing up I always wondered why my mom would start a cleaning frenzy whenever we were having guests.  It wasn't a bug deal to me, I would just sit back and enjoy playing with cousins or whoever was visiting.  Now that I have my own place, though, I am beginning to see why having guests can be stressful. Luckily for me, Josh and Appols are awesome visitors, not complaining about sleeping on the floor because we don't have an extra bed (or room for that matter), not saying anything about the fact that we only had one clean towel for them to share because we hadn't done the wash yet (shame on you, Maryann!), and offering to pitch in with food costs.  I still worried, though, that they weren't enjoying themselves or that I wasn't being a good enough host.  

I'm afraid Dustin felt some of my frustrations too, because we kept clashing over silly things the whole weekend.  I am learning that marriage is hard.  Whenever Dustin and I tussle, I have a hard time trying to figure out what to do.  I am still learning how to express my emotions and talk about situations without crying.  I have struggled with this my whole life.  If I'm angry, I cry.  Frustrated--cry.  Happy, sad, scared, indecisive, worried, anxious, you name it, it makes me cry.  I HATE trying to talk about things while I'm crying because it makes me feel manipulative and wussy. It is so hard for me though.  

So I am trying to figure out how not to be stressed about guests.  Learning how to express myself.  Getting to know Dustin and myself better.  Understanding that marriage is hard work.  And hopefully doing better every day.