The past week or so has found me thinking a lot and deeply about an issue I never before took much time to think about; that is, homosexuality and the Church's teachings about it. Since President Packer's talk in General Conference a couple weeks ago, there has been so much conversation (some civil and some not so much) surrounding this issue on the news and on the internet, I just couldn't avoid it. So, instead of trying to ignore the conversation, I decided to read and think about things and explore different people's opinions. I made the decision to find good, uplifting, informative articles and avoid anything hateful, name-calling, inflamatory, or anything designed to stir up contention rather than have an open and honest dialogue. I found articles from the General Authorities, from gay mormons who are trying to live the commandments (and one who has decided it is too hard), from news sources, and from gay people living their lifestyle who just honestly want their voice to be heard. I also prayed. I really was desirous to find some answers for myself about the topic, not necessarily because I felt conflicted or confused, but because it is not something I have ever thought deeply about, and it felt like the right time to gain knowledge for myself instead of relying on popular opinion.
I am so glad I took the time to ponder and pray and study out in my mind, the way church leaders have told us to do. I'm not going to write out here every conclusion I came to because, those of you who know me know that I think WAY too much about things. That would be a very long post. Two main impressions kept coming back to me though, and I wanted to share them on here.
First is the importance of letting the Spirit guide us as we look for truth. I read a blog post from a gay Mormon man who is striving to live his life according to the commandments of God, and I loved what he had to say about Pres. Packer's talk. He said that the apostles words did make him unhappy at first. But instead of taking that original reaction to the talk and deciding it meant that Pres. Packer was wrong, he pondered it. He read and re-read the talk. Most importantly, he prayed that the Spirit of the Lord would help him understand Pres. Packer's true intent. And that is exactly what happened. He was able to be taught by the Spirit because he earnestly prayed and desired to learn. I realized that that is how we need to approach everything in our lives. There is such an abundance of "information" instantly available in the world that the only way for us to discern what is truth and what is of the devil is to have the companionship of the Spirit. Popular opinions and even petitions signed by 150,000 people are not what should teach us. The Spirit should teach us. This is something I am still working on, but I am glad I realized this important lesson this week.
The second thing I learned was the need for all people, but especially us as members of the Church, to reach out to people with love. The Beatles song "All You Need Is Love" has some truth to it, haha. All we need and want in this life is to feel loved and not rejected. I admit that I am not a good example of this. Too often I let myself get caught up by prejudices and stereotypes, believing that I "know" more than people because I am a member of this church. But really, I don't have all the answers. No one does. In an interview about the Church's views on homosexuality, Elder Oaks admitted even he doesn't have all the answers regarding this issue. But sometimes we think we do. And so sometimes instead of opening my heart in love, I judge. I think many people struggle with this, and it is definitely something I need to work on. I read pieces from people who are living a homosexual lifestyle, and I realized that I am really in no place to judge them. All I or anyone can do is try to respond with love. It is hard. It is not something I am always good at. But it is so important to make it a priority. Don't get me wrong--I believe we absolutely need to stand for the principles revealed to us by the prophet and apostles. But still, in every case compassion and love should guide our actions. It is something I am going to try to work on, since heaven knows I could use a LOT of help in this area. (This is another thing I discovered this week as I prayed and pondered this issue---how very very imperfect I am.)
Aren't you glad I'm not going to type out everything I learned from everything I read this week? I told you I think too much! Sometimes, though, I think it's important to "search, ponder, and pray" with real intent about things we are feeling confused or just curious about. It has been a good exercise for me. And I must say, I am so grateful we have apostles and prophets who lead this church today, who receive revelations and then put them into beautiful, eloquent words that uplift and inspire and instill peace in the heart. I just love reading the words of the apostles. I am so glad for revelation, both personal and that of the prophets and apostles. God truly does love His children, every single one of them, and in His love He has provided a way for everyone to achieve salvation. I am so blessed to know that. I have felt so many emotions this week as I have explored this topic, but the emotion I feel most now is peace, knowing that the Savior has prepared a way for us to repent, and that God will make everything right in the end.
If any of you care to know which articles I read that I found particularly helpful and uplifting, here they are:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=e5cbba12dc825110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-23,00.html
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction
http://gaymormonguy.blogspot.com/2010/10/president-packers-talk-from-gay-mormon.html
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction
*Sorry if these links don't work, I didn't check them.
I Do Now
6 days ago
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2 comments:
LOVED this post. I REALLY went through pretty much the same experience as you. I spent like 2 days just reading JUNK trying to figure it out first and getting SO depressed. Finally one I night I decided I needed to ask Heavenly Father about it. After some scripture study, some of the same articles and blogs that you found, and some teachings of the spirit I really was able to find some peace in the situation. I thought about posting a similar blog post but made some comments on facebook- and got some not nice comments back. So I decided to kind of grow from what I had found and move on. Thank you SO much for your thoughts though.
I was thinking about this today. I have not done all the reading that you have done, but the thought just came to me. I was thinking that we all have natural urges, but not all our urges are the same. We can choose to act on those urges or not. We must remember "the natural man is an enemy to God." We all have to suppress urges that are not in line with the teachings of Christ. I don't know if I really expressed what I am thinking, but I wanted to share it.
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